A funny forum entry that Mervyn sent me

Hi peepz, here's a forum entry that mervyn sent me... finance humour... check it out...

I'm not sure whether it is copyrighted, but let's just say its not...

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THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST

What am I doing wrong?Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes atleast half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mindthat a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't thinkI'm overreaching at all.Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Couldyou send me some tips?

I dated a business man who makes average around200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't getme to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was marriedto an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do Iget to her level? Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,restaurants, gyms

- What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt myfeelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper eastside so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who havenothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop deadgorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the storythere?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investmentbanker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do theyhang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking forMARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults. I'm putting myself out there in an honestway. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up frontabout it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn'table to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping anice home and hearth. it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercialinterests

PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfullyabout your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits yourbill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how Isee it.Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple acrappy business deal. Here's why.

Cutting through all the B.S., what yousuggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bringmy money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and mymoney will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likelythat my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won'tbe getting any more beautiful!So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earningasset.

Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciationaccelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins inearnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buyand hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease.

In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money wereto go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage. Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard tobelieve that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500Khasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and thenwe wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.Classic "pump and dump."I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort oflease, let me know.

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Quite interesting...